Essentials of Coping with the Bouts of Pressure to Blindly follow the Paths of Traditional Parenting Practices

Purifying the parenting process has been the focus of the Passion in Parenting blog this year. Truly, great results would usually be realised if purity is improved on the part of parental and societal values as well as parenting approach. These three key factors in the parenting process are very much dependent on the knowledge and good conscience of parents. It is now clearer to us that the true test of discipline in children is not the uneasy calm they manifest when they are within the sphere of attention/influence of bullies. What should count in assessing parenting results is the extent of self-discipline a child acquires and applies as part of his daily life. On a wider perspective, what should count in assessing the parenting results in a community is the extent of discipline and creativity most adults raised in the community are able to apply in their daily lives. Therefore, the emphasis of child-training should not necessarily be on defending fragments of cruel age-long traditional parenting practices.

Events around us are really playing out in a worrisome manner. If flogging and  other forms of corporal punishments of children is done without restraint in our schools and homes and yet street children who are evidences of broken parenting relationships litter our streets and various media reports show that insecurity, corruption, communal clashes, drug abuse, exam malpractice, kidnapping, indiscipline to regulatory and statutory procedures by adults and other forms of criminal acts are on the increase, then there is urgent need for a serious overhaul of the prevalent parenting practices. Stories are even told of communities and schools who operate illegal prisons for juvenile offenders where they are freely maltreated.  It has become obvious that there is the need to sincerely remove the parenting practices that are retrogressive and embrace the progressive ones.

Progress is gradually being made.  Informed parents and good schools are really showing interest in the improved approach to achieving real discipline in children, but the negative pressure from tradition-oriented adults to blindly follow the path of traditional parenting practices has been enormous.  This pressure has been a thorn in the wheel of progress.

Therefore, the focus of the Passion in Parenting blog in year 2018 will be to reveal the nature and extent of the pressures against effective parenting approach and standard teacher-children relationship by traditionalists and how the institutions and peoples involved can cope with them.

Compliments of the season to all our readers!

 

  • Uchenna N. Nduka
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The Complacence of the Learned Parents: The Bane of any Society

The experience of being waylaid by evil men at the full glare of people who seem unperturbed is fast becoming a norm in some cities around us. Anyone who has passed through such harrowing experiences would understand well the extent of the frustration of the evil ones and their desperation to transfer same to their victims. The urchins on the streets and motor parks are not alone in this frustration. The depth and magnitude of the news of corrupt practices among many people occupying sensitive public positions and even civil servants also indicate rebellious frustration. Insecurity of lives and property is on the increase. If evil is fast advancing its frontiers and is getting bolder and more resistant, then urgent actions are needed to properly realign people’s thoughts and action and ensure that children are developed to acquire self-discipline as a way of life.

A child possesses self-discipline on an issue if he/she manifests restraint without being told or prodded or threatened by anyone. Self-discipline is enduring because it is not coerced or controlled externally, but proceeds from a spiritually, intellectually, socially, and physically sound mind. That should be the target of every parenting process. It is achievable if parents are sufficiently available to ensure that right values are communicated to children, possess effective parenting skills and provide the right support and learning resources. Most times when a parenting process fails, a dysfunctional person is produced who may eventually become a nuisance, not just to his/her parents, but the society at large.

Therefore, all hands should be on deck to ensure that disciplined children are raised. No informed person should be complacent.  The efforts of NGOs who mobilise and provide support and guidance to children who are on the streets are commendable. I feel that the number of street children will reduce if the issues that lead to broken parenting relationships are clarified and dealt with. NGOs should also be encouraged to include parenting education to adults in our communities. Schools and religious organisations should organise parenting workshops and training. Parenting programmes should create opportunities for the right values to be propagated. Efforts in this direction will surely ameliorate the issues that threaten societal peace and security.

 

-Uchenna N. Nduka