The brace of endless love is a parent with an unshakable resolve to continuously remain supportive to all aspects of the child’s development until the child develops into a disciplined adult. This therefore implies that a great parent is always close enough to observe and evaluate a child’s opinion, behaviour and contribution on all issues of life as a feedback for proper follow up. A parent’s feelings, opinion, commendation or reservation about a child’s behaviour must necessarily be properly and effectively communicated to provide guidance for proper development of the child. Criticism is therefore an essential instrument in a healthy parenting process.
If properly applied in its pure form, criticism is constructive otherwise, it can be destructive.The following contrasts are noteworthy.
|Healthy Criticism (Pure)||Unhealthy Criticism (Impure)|
|1||Communication is interactive||Communication is overbearing|
|2||It is done hopefully and faithfully||It is done with despair.|
|3||It is done with self-control.||Communication is clogged with manifestation of negative emotions.|
|4||Expectation of the parent from the child is realistic and corresponds with the child’s ability.||Parent’s expectation from the child is unrealistic|
|5||The parent patiently explains a better approach or process in the language the child will understand||Parents have little or no time for detailed explanation.|
|6||It does not condemn the child. The wrong action is condemned.||The child is condemned and described with negative words.|
|7||It recognises that every child is unique and lives a space for the unique and positive expression of the child’s unique personality disposition.||It expects every child to fit into the same personality mold.|
|8||It does not withhold praise or commendation when it is earned.||It criticises almost everything the child does.|
|9||Achieves great parenting results with disciplined children.||Creates resentment and rebellion. The child’s situation usually worsens.|
A parent’s ability to handle the instrument of criticism can make or mar a child’s future. Great parents criticise wisely for proper mental, social, physical and spiritual development of their children.
-Uchenna N. Nduka