Izunna’s story of how he survived as an orphan always sounded interesting each time he shared any part of it with me. As at the time I first met him as a neighbor, he was a lecturer in a higher institution. The last time I had a chat with him, some years ago, he already had his PhD and was doing well as a lecturer in a university. He was orphaned as a young child with a humble background. His disposition to giving a helping hand out of love was one attribute of him that endeared him to his relations he lived with and his community at large.
The part that has stuck to my memory was how the elderly women in his village would look forward to having him around during the holiday periods in his undergraduate years. He said he assisted them in various ways such as farming, compound cleaning, fetching of water and general welfare. His story actually reminds me of how Moses in the bible survived his sojourn to Midian when he ran out of Egypt in Exodus chapter 2:15. Moses obtained favour in a strange environment through his act of love to girls who needed help.
A healthy parenting relationship is a sure foundation for nurturing children who would understand the indispensability of love and discipline in any form of interpersonal relationship. Children who are products of such love-driven parenting relationships learn that love and discipline are not applied only when they are deserved, but are fundamental requirements for any relationship to bear good fruits. Such children are therefore able are to elicit positive responses from people they relate with.
Wrong foundations of fault-finding, hatred and revenge are laid in unhealthy parenting relationships through hate-building communication and use of children to accomplish revenge missions. Except through the mercies of God, such children would develop into adults who would expect love from people they relate with, but have none to give. For such people, favourable outcomes in interpersonal encounters and relationships may remain elusive until the faulty foundation of hatred is repaired.
Great parents who desire that their children obtain favour and mercy in their future interpersonal relationships have no other option to parenting approach than that which abides in love and gives no room or justification for hatred and aggression. I can’t imagine how much peace the world would have in place of the terrorism that is currently threatening humanity if parents would adopt the proper and godly approach to parenting. Effective parenting skills are indeed indispensable for great parenting outcomes.
-Uchenna N. Nduka