A mother arrived at the children’s church on the Sunday after I gave a parenting talk in a women’s fellowship requesting to see me. She was looking harassed and unhappy. Her confession was that the message on that evening was for her because her parenting approach was exactly the one I condemned.
“If you see where I flog them, you will not believe that they are my biological children.” she said. Her children were then between two and ten years.
“Why do you flog them that way?” I asked rhetorically.
“I flog them to wash the plates, sweep the house and perform other house chores” she responded.
She further explained that she flogged them that way every day. I then asked her whether she would still need to flog them if they were made to comply with her instructions willingly. She concurred that the flogging would then not be necessary if they obeyed her. I could imagine the tense and illusory disciplinary environment she was struggling with in her home. Without asking further questions, I told her to withdraw threats, shouting in despair when giving instructions, flogging and all the pollutants I could remember. She said she rarely laughed with them. So I also asked her to increase her smiles. She was also reminded of the other parenting skills that were discussed. I told her to try out the new approach for a month and give me her feedback.
She came back a month later with a lot of smiles and excitement. Her testimony was that her children were more willing to obey her instructions. She said that they would happily await her return from work daily, perform those chores without coercion and were always willing to share their experiences during the day with her excitedly. She said that she was definitely going to continue with the new approach because it brought peace to her home.
Good parenting skills are worth giving a try. The results are really great!
- Uchenna N. Nduka