The plea by that old widow for money to buy her drugs when I was driving out of my compound in the village on that day got me confused. Initially, I convinced myself that it was an one-off event, but then how could I explain her frail and malnourished look? If the high-rising buildings in her compound were built by her children, why was she so wretched? The explanation I received from someone who had more knowledge about her family got me even more confused. I was told that her children refused to provide for her needs because they had a deep-rooted hatred for her from their childhood days.
As usual, an array of questions flashed through my mind. What kind of parenting relationship did she have with her children that resulted in such deep-rooted resentment? Was God a part of that parenting process? Was it that she did not love her children or that she loved them, but was not properly guided in her parenting approach to communicate love effectively?
- Every parent should take the issue of building a healthy parenting relationship seriously.
- A parenting relationship that is replete with built-up negative emotions by the child is unhealthy.
- The resentment formed in an unhealthy parenting relationship may endure throughout the child’s life.
- That is why a parenting method that achieves discipline with the proper skill and firmness in an atmosphere of love is always preferred to the one which relies on violence and persistent show of anger.
- Uchenna N. Nduka